The Game of Thrones season seven premiere episode was largely about putting pieces in place, while it’s second episode, “Stormborn” quickly started moving those pieces around the board. Now that the dust has settled here are the episode’s winners and losers.
Winner: Cersei Lannister
What a momentum swing for Cersei from episode one to episode two. After starting the season with a tenuous hold on the Seven Kingdoms, or three kingdoms at best as Jaime put it, enemies in every direction, and almost no allies, the Mad Queen has quickly turned this game (of thrones) around.
Qyburn built her a dragon killing crossbow (seriously though how did this not already exist?), Jaime seems to have rallied the lords of the Reach to the Lannister cause, and Euron is on his way to deliver his priceless gift in the from of Ellaria Sand and her daughter. All in all not a bad day’s work for Cersei. I’m sure she’ll enjoy a celebratory glass of Dornish red, or seven, as she brainstorms how she wants to kill the woman who murdered her daughter.
When speaking about this season Pilou Asbæk, who plays Euron Greyjob, who seems to be fitting into this season’s villain role, said his character is going to make Ramsay Bolton “look like a little kid.” If I was a betting man my money would be on Trial by Combat against the Mountain.
Loser: Daenerys Targaryen
Everything seemed to be falling into place for Dany to roll over the Seven Kingdoms and declare herself the rightful monarch. But you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and dragon queens. . .Her plan to send Ellaria Sand to rally the Dornish army immediately went off the rails at the hands of a sneak attack by Euron Greyjoy and his fleet. Now both the head of Dany’s armada and her Dornish contact are in the hands of her enemies and she has no clear replacement for either.
She also threatened to burn Varys alive which was not a good look and tells us that Dany may have more in common with her father, the Mad King, than we originally believed. How she handles her impending meeting with Jon Snow, who we can’t forget is also her nephew though neither of them know it, will go a long way in deciding how the rest of this story is going to play out for the Mother of Dragons.
Most fans hope that these two hit it off both and become a power duo and also connect romantically (when has this show cared about crossing family lines?), but we could see a power struggle between the two. Daenerys has her eyes dead set on the throne, while Jon is more concerned with the picture…the army of the dead.
Winner: Greyworm and Missandei
BOW-CHIKA-WOW-WOW! Hey nobody ever said the Unsullied weren’t resourceful. Missy and the Worm out here breaking all the sexual boundaries of Westeros.
Winner: Jorah Mormont
— SirStreamAlot (@sirstreamsalot) July 24, 2017
Although it looked super painful and was super disgusting to watch, Jorah definitely came out on top this week. With Jorah on the brink of being shipped out to spend the rest of his days in the ruins of Valyria with the stone-men, Sam stepped in to perform this radical but also life saving surgery.
Sam never told Jorah what is in the mysterious ointment that is supposed to heal him but some clues from episode one suggest dragon glass may be involved. Could we see Jorah become a half man/half dragon glass super solider capable of punching through White Walkers?? That would be fucking dope. Let’s just hope that Sam’s treatment works first and that he also doesn’t face severe consequences for his actions. Despite his actions coming from a good place, they were still not allowed.
Just when it seemed like Theon was getting his life back together, it all came crashing down again. Euron stole his sister and Theon appeared to have some Reek PTSD flashbacks before running and jumping overboard. Theon has probably taken more Ls and lived to tell about them than any other character on the show.
But the fact that he is still alive should tell us that he will have some important role to play before this story is over. But for now he’s floating by himself somewhere in the Narrow Sea and the immediate questions are either who is going to rescue him or where is he going to wash up. There aren’t a lot of answers to either of those questions that are going to yield positive outcomes for Theon Greyjoy.
What does Littlefinger want? The answer to that question is these three things in this order: the world, the North, and Sansa. All three of those things are going to be very difficult for him to get while Jon Snow is the King in the North. But as luck would have it, Jon needs to head South, like his brother, father, and grandfather before him and in doing so, leaves Sansa in charge.
By the way I loved how Sansa thought it was a bad idea for Jon to leave until he told her that she will be the temporary boss. She had no problem with it after that was said.
Before Jon left he made sure to getting a good strangle in and warn Littlefinger not to touch his sister, but then promptly departed on a journey that could see him gone for several months (even though time and travel seem to be less and less irrelevant going forward. Only 11 more episodes!) Up to this point Sansa has been able to parry Baelish’s advances, but with Jon out of the way it’s only a matter of time before some of Petyr’s strikes begin to land with the newly crowned Queen in the North. Let’s hope Brienne of Tarth keeps a close on on Lord Baelish.
1. Why hasn’t Edd sent a damn raven yet? Anytime you want to send that raven letting Jon know Bran is with you would be great buddy. Jesus Christ.
2. Who tipped off Euron that his targets were going to be on the move separate from Dany’s main force?
3. Is that all we are getting out of Nymeria or is there more to come?
4. How’s the Davos/Melisandre reunion going to go next episode?
Until next Sunday, valar morghulis!